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"Most Holy Yackerboom, give us this day our virgins"






Our congratulations go to Gris the Greasy upon his promotion to Arsehole 4th Class, and his winning of this year's X-Files Medal for his stirling work in scaring the living crap out of farmers in Kansas with his groovy flying saucer.  Gris is the personal guru and spiritual adviser to Bonkers Bolton, the would-be fuhrer of the United Nations.  He nominates genocide and world slavery as his hobbies, and on a quiet and rainy afternoon, likes nothing better to slip down the local morgue, lay on a slab, wait until the medical examiner finishes an autopsy on him, then yell out 'Boo', gather up any removed internal organs, and run out the door giggling.  A real fun guy!  His species has a detachable penis, and he loves to leave it hiding in ambush in ladies dressing rooms and nun's cloisters. How are things in Nose City, by the way.








Hi there, Wreck Tum, welcome to the planet!  Good luck liberating citizens of the USA from the clutches of their ruling elite!  The blue skinned being behind him is his lackey, Dayte Roll, a leading composer of Ted Nugent guitar solos and noted gusset designer. As a team they are credited with the invention of the sitcom, a device used to render humanity unable to develop intellectually.  They also work occasionally as Calamity and Homo impersonators.










Please meet Loader Hottkokk, a professional Non Event and part time Jehovah's Witness. Solved the problem of assassinating the Queen of Naboo by killing all the hand maidens, one of whom was bound to be queen, and not killing the Queen who could be just a hand maiden.  Can you dig it?  No wonder those damn Gungins live under the water. Famous for, armed only with a flatbed scanner and a packet of chocolate covered paring knives, scaling to the very heights of absurdity without once joining a political party or taking a leak.








Roller Over has found a neat and inexpensive way to travel around the galaxy.  Wherever the Squizzledong Unihorn can be found, Roller can also be found, giving a little executive relief for a few buckazoids.  She is also very popular with a certain U.S. ex-president, and influenced many of his policies.  She is known to some as the 'lips that started the Balkans War'.  Once lived in Wagga Wagga, but is feeling much better now. What a silly place to keep many crows.






Carnivorous entities!  Please get your food from your local butchers or, if you are desperate, the dog pound.  Hunting humans on buses and subway trains might make a good B-grade movie, but is, at the very least, considered bad manners!  There have been too many commuters killed and eaten lately, and even the media are starting to notice!  We have told them that it is merely a new way of collecting taxes, and that seems to be holding them for now.  Just remember, King George the Dubberyar isn't all that clever, well, he is a dumb bastard really, and we can't guarantee that he has had all the independent journalists shot.  Someone, somewhere, may start asking questions!  Curb that appetite!  Try wearing ladies underwear instead!  Works for me!





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