Meeting place for aliens currently working on Planet Earth

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"We Place Our Trust In Holy Yackerboom"








"For every political inaction, there is an equal and opposite press conference"




Our main man, er, life form, the Holy Webmaster, a.k.a. The Beast.






Welcome to the place where we aliens, busy infiltrating and undermining humanity, can visit to catch up with the gossip, learn of any policy changes, and meet new recruits arriving to work on this misbegotten world.










Please remember that masturbating is not a form of greeting on this planet, so keep those zipper, or zippers, fastened in the closed position.  It can be a dead giveaway, especially for you Hex-Pronged Polecats from Petunia Prime.









It is recommended that we stop using the press conference as a way of spreading our lies.  The humans, even the Americans, are starting to wake up to this method, even when national flags are used in the background.






Hi mum!



This website is the work of the Fulminating and Multidirectional Holy Webmaster, the man who had to put his age up to join the human race.  He is currently living in Boiltheminthepotistan, where he in charge of interrogations, torture that is not torture only quaint, and making the soup.  The pointy bits with the leather embellishments, provided on this site for your sexual gratification, were provided to us at cost by Josef Stalin of the Friends Of Kulaks Committee.  The back and forward buttons on your browser have been upgraded to a non-slip rubber surface, to avoid a repetition of those accidents where visitors, anxious to get the hell away from this website, were slipping in their own vomit and suffering head injuries as they careened head-first through their monitors.  We don't look our best covered with thin film transistors, do we?









Don't forget, if war does break out on this website, hide behind the nearest politician or genocide general.  Works every time.







We are pacifists here, and we will shoot the living crap out of any warmonger we see hanging around this website.







We have worked very hard removing all traces of Mickey Mouse from this website, and in reducing the Frankie Avalon and Beach Blanket Bingo content to a level acceptable to the UNIFROCK ( United Nations Institute For Removing Obvious  Crappy K'Niggits).  We have also removed U.S. English from the website in the interests of your intellectual wellbeing.  We apologise for the shortages in the world supply of the letter 'U' that this action has caused.   We do not employ 'military spokesmen' on this site, and our 'punditocracy' filters are armed and full functional.  The kids in Bristol may still be as sharp as a pistol, but anyone caught doing the Bristol Stomp without their private parts having first been painted crimson and gold, shall be sued to the fullest extent of our slush fund.






This is, of course, the Executive Version of this website.  Believe me, you don't want to know about the version we push on the plebs.  The Executive Version has been cleared of land mines, and the only cluster bombs left here are confined to those areas frequented by innocent people in large numbers  There is a Special Military Version of this website, where only 5% of the words are actually exposed to harm from the visitors, whilst the other 95% are kept in a walled fortress where they are forced to endure junk food and air conditioning.  Some of the words have been caught misspelling themselves on purpose, hoping to get sent back to their home alphabet early.







To avoid being invaded, we change the regime of this website a minimum of three times daily.






Just remember - If it walks like an alien, talks like an alien, acts like an alien, it could be Charlton Heston.  Be careful out there!









Game Giveaway of the Day


Email the Holy Webmaster BEFORE your human disguise falls apart.  It is too late afterwards!









Please notify us if any of this website is tending to be sensible!  Remember, it has to be understood by Neocons!




Banthas visiting this website must provide their own fodder!










It is by will alone I put my bowels in motion

It is by the juice of curry that my bowels acquire speed

My bum acquires a stain

The stain becomes a warning

It is by will alone I put my bowels in motion.





The Internet Police are going to get a nasty shock if they try to raid this fully armed and operational website!



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Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Brian Brett.  All rights reserved.


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